nowhere, anywhere, here
by Anna Flair
Summary: Rachel Berry's star is fading. After choking at her NYADA audition, she thinks all hope is lost. That is, until she learns that hope turns up in the most unlikely places...


**nowhere, anywhere, here**

**Disclaimer: **The opening paragraph was written by RIB and Co.. I take no credit. I also do not take credit for the TV show Glee or its characters. But I wish I could...then maybe it would actually still be as good as it was in Season One. Anyway, this story is based off of spoilers for the 3x22.

_Deep in space there are giant interstellar clouds. Most of them just float through the universe, content to be balls of gas and space dust, but there are special ones. Maybe they collide with a supernova, or just made up of something extra amazing, but one day they just get too big for the nebulas they're in and with the sheer gravitational force of their awesomeness, they become a star. _

Rachel Berry's star was fading…dying. She could feel it. The self-encouraging Tony Award pictures scattered throughout her house were gone, the Elliptical was moved to the basement (no need to be fit if she wasn't going to be walking down a red carpet anytime soon…or ever), and most importantly, the pads of gold star stickers she carried every day were thrown in the trash. She wasn't a star anymore; she was just a person. A nobody- forever nameless.

Rachel had been_ humiliated_. The rejection from NYADA might have been bearable had it not been for the absolutely humiliating audition. She couldn't believe she had actually begged. What a fool she must've looked like. The shock of messing up "Don't Rain on My Parade" was too much, and her brain went into overdrive, and she began to...to..._beg_. She became frazzled. Rachel Berry had _never_ been frazzled before. Then, worst of all, she cried. Right in front of Carmen Tibedeux, Rachel cried. Afterwards, she had imagined Carmen sharing the story with all her Broadway friends. _"So I had to watch this horrible Barbra Streisand wannabe audition the other day…."_

Now Rachel was expected to lead New Directions to victory at Nationals tomorrow. What was even the point? She had hoped once they arrived in Chicago that her drive and overall hunger for winning would return, but no. It had only made her sink further into self-pity, and even though the voice in her head was screaming at her to pull herself together, she couldn't. Rachel had rejected the team's invitation to wander around the city with them after they got to the motel and even told Finn to go ahead without her.

"Are you sure, Rach? We could watch _Funny Girl_ if you want. Isn't that your favorite?" he asked, rubbing circles around her back as they sat in the cheap motel room Mr. Schue booked.

The memory of "Don't Rain on My Parade" hit her once again, and she quickly shook her head, willing it away. "No. It's not my favorite movie. It's not anything anymore. Go have fun with the team. I'd rather be alone."

After he left, Rachel somehow ended up where she is now- pacing in front of the theatre Nationals is to be held at the next day. She's thinking about her performance of "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and suddenly it hits her that she could very well mess up tomorrow just as she did during her audition. Rachel starts to panic and begins singing the lyrics to the Celine Dion hit under her breath. She can't remember the beginning of the second verse, and ohmygod she's really going to choke tomorrow, and New Directions is going to lose yet again because of her, and-

"Maybe it was because you still lack Barbra's emotional depth," a voice says behind her, and amidst her present anxiety attack, Rachel is transported back to a music store two years ago where that same exact voice said _almost_ the same exact thing. She recalls a conversation going on in the bus yesterday about how he's the new coach for Vocal Adrenaline, but at this point he's practically meaningless to Rachel now.

She turns around and sees him standing a few feet away, arms crossed and wearing black as usual. He's gotten a haircut since the last time she's seen him, and it's most definitely enhancing his features. "What are you talking about, Jesse?" she says, eyeing him.

"Maybe that's why you didn't get into NYADA. I heard you sang "Don't Rain on My Parade". You probably still lack Barbra's emotional depth," he says, eyeing her back.

She stands speechless, confused as to how he knows anything about NYADA and ashamed he thinks her rejection could be due to something so trivial. His eyebrows rise, demanding an answer, and Rachel tries to take on the same air of arrogance he's upholding.

"You're wrong," she says, forcing herself to hold back the impending tears. "I choked. I completely screwed up. That's why I didn't get into NYADA." Her voice cracks, and she lets slip a few teardrops. Rachel registers his shock, and when he subconsciously holds out an arm to her, she flinches back. "I think we're done here."

Rachel turns to walk away, but suddenly he's there, pulling her back around. "So where are you going to school now?" he asks, and Rachel thinks it's a strange question since she hasn't even asked herself it.

"I don't know," she stumbles out. "It doesn't even matter. My star's dead." Rachel looks clearly into his eyes for the first time in over a year and realizes the sparkle that once shone in them is gone. "It looks like yours died, too."

He frowns and immediately takes offense. "It did not. I'm just biding my time until I can make enough money to move to New York."

"But what if that takes years, Jesse? And by then maybe you won't even want to leave Ohio."

He lets go of her arm and resumes his crossed-arms position. "This isn't even about me. This is about you. You're the one giving up."

"And maybe it's for the best!" Rachel shouts, getting worked up once again. "I remember you telling me when you were a senior that you didn't get nervous anymore. Well, I still get nervous!"

"And so what?" he shouts back. "That's completely irrational. People get nervous all the time. And don't you think I might've been bluffing to try and impress you?"

There's a pause, and Rachel thinks the fluttering inside her stomach may just bea dash of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she still had a chance. "I get really upset over rejection," she states.

"And you'll get over it. You got over me, didn't you?" he says softly.

"I'm scared I'm going to end up like Mr. Schue. That I tried to make it on Broadway all for nothing," she whispers and realizes that she just spoke outloud her greatest fear.

"But you're not Mr. Schue. You're Rachel Berry. You're driven, intelligent, and hard-working. You're not going to let anyone stop you achieve your dream. And I know," he emphasizes," you won't let some stupid NYADA recruiter stop you."

She gives him a faint smile. "I don't understand why you care so much."

"Because you being on Broadway is an inevitability," he whispers. "Don't you remember? You wouldn't want to mess with fate."

Now she's really smiling, and he's really smiling, and it's almost as if they were dating again. "It's an inevitiability for you too, you know," she says.

"I'll meet you there," he responds. They stay silent for a minute, but Rachel realizes there's nothing more to say.

"I guess I'll go check out the UCLA website, maybe they're still accepting applicants," Rachel says, only half-joking.

"Just be ready to do math and science and all that other stupid stuff," Jesse responds. It looks as if he wants give her a hug or grab her hand, but then he takes a step backwards. "So I guess I'll see you at Nationals tomorrow?"

Rachel nods. "Where _we'll_ be getting first place."

Jesse laughs. "Very funny; Jesse St. James doesn't lose."

They're backing away from each other, and Rachel suddenly feels brave. "Except when you lost me." She turns and walks towards the bus stop, but before she's out of ear shot, Rachel swears she hears him sigh.

* * *

**Author's Note: I don't even know what the hell that was. It just needed to get out of me. Anyway, REVIEWS are love! And I love you all so it'd be nice if you return it. ;) Other St. Berry stories including "A Realistic Finchel Story" will be updated shortly.**


End file.
